Monday, November 19, 2012

{Being Polite, Not Weak}

Words of the wise...

(not weakness)

There are a lot of influential, exciting and encouraging things to read and learn about in the blogosphere. Some things we instantly absorb and take to heart, though it is often the case that these same things fade away just as quickly as they came. However, there is something I've recently read and keep reflecting on that I want to share with you. While there are a lot blogs that leave me feeling warm & fuzzy, I also gravitate toward blogs that challenge me. As women, we can easily get caught up in a lot...and sometimes we need others to remind us of who we are and what is important. Sometimes the words of strangers can speak volumes. Which is why I think it appropriate to share that which I find to be words of the wise...

Your Being Polite Not Weak (knowing the difference)
When I am being polite,
do not confuse it with weakness.
When I say, “That’s fine, we can do it your way,”
do not confuse it with weakness.
When I proactively choose not to defend myself,
do not confuse it with weakness.
Because we choose not to over-invest in nonsense or someone else’s
narcissism – this does not mean we’re rolling over + playing dead.
It does not mean they win + you lose.
You are not, in fact, abandoning your values.
Rather, you’re simply preserving your energy for things that matter.
When you choose to respond with, “Ok,”
rather than creating a situation with someone you don’t hold in high regard anyway,
you are not being weak.
You are holding your center.
Consider yourself:
Your vantage point is one of observing impersonally rather than taking it personally.
You understand that not everyone + everything
requires a high voltage reaction.
You are being civil.
Not weak.
Justifying it becomes relatively uninteresting.
Unnecessary, even.
There will be moments when self-preservation is called for.
But you will know the difference.
You understand that one does need to be mean to be tough.
And that toughness through civility is far from weakness.
You will encounter people + situations who will try to rattle you.
They will try to make you feel that you are not smart, capable or worthy enough.
They’ll try to imply you don’t know what you’re talking about,
that you’re not really up for the task.
Maybe you should step to the side.
Go ahead.
Politely step to the side.
People who insist on continuously marginalizing others
will leave enough rope to hang themselves.
Let them.
You don’t need anger, cruelty, or snark to prove your point or get the job done.
Be on fire.
Know your rights
+ of course don’t take any shit.
But do it with style + resolve.
The world needs your brilliance + composure.
We will look to you for it.
And you’ll be ready for us.

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