{Being Polite, Not Weak}

Words of the wise...

Politeness

(not weakness)

There are a lot of influential, exciting and encouraging things to read and learn about in the blogosphere. Some things we instantly absorb and take to heart, though it is often the case that these same things fade away just as quickly as they came. However, there is something I've recently read and keep reflecting on that I want to share with you. While there are a lot blogs that leave me feeling warm & fuzzy, I also gravitate toward blogs that challenge me. As women, we can easily get caught up in a lot...and sometimes we need others to remind us of who we are and what is important. Sometimes the words of strangers can speak volumes. Which is why I think it appropriate to share that which I find to be words of the wise...

Your Being Polite Not Weak (knowing the difference)

When I am being polite,
do not confuse it with weakness.

When I say, “That’s fine, we can do it your way,”
do not confuse it with weakness.

When I proactively choose not to defend myself,
do not confuse it with weakness.

Because we choose not to over-invest in nonsense or someone else’s
narcissism – this does not mean we’re rolling over + playing dead.

It does not mean they win + you lose.
You are not, in fact, abandoning your values.
Rather, you’re simply preserving your energy for things that matter.

When you choose to respond with, “Ok,”
rather than creating a situation with someone you don’t hold in high regard anyway,
you are not being weak.

You are holding your center.

Consider yourself:
Firm
Focused
Discerning
Composed

Your vantage point is one of observing impersonally rather than taking it personally.
You understand that not everyone + everything
requires a high voltage reaction.

You are being civil.
Not weak.

Justifying it becomes relatively uninteresting.
Unnecessary, even.

There will be moments when self-preservation is called for.
But you will know the difference.

You understand that one does need to be mean to be tough.
And that toughness through civility is far from weakness.

You will encounter people + situations who will try to rattle you.

They will try to make you feel that you are not smart, capable or worthy enough.
They’ll try to imply you don’t know what you’re talking about,
that you’re not really up for the task.
Maybe you should step to the side.

Go ahead.
Politely step to the side.

People who insist on continuously marginalizing others
will leave enough rope to hang themselves.

Let them.

You don’t need anger, cruelty, or snark to prove your point or get the job done.

Be on fire.
Know your rights
+ of course don’t take any shit.

But do it with style + resolve.

The world needs your brilliance + composure.
We will look to you for it.

And you’ll be ready for us.

-Danielle Dowling

Image via Pinterest 

{The Walls I've Built}

Over a year ago, I decided to write a poem. I have never been one to write poetry, but the words simply came to me and I was compelled to write about the emotion I felt welling inside. I just rediscovered it while going through personal files and realized, as I read, that in some strange way I had written a poem in the past that would speak to my present life. Sometimes timing is everything. I am a little nervous to share it publicly, but I think that perhaps it may speak to some of you as well. Enjoy.

The walls I’ve built are strong, durable, lasting...

They are made up of a mortar of expectations.

They are glued together with piercing doubts.

They reach the heights of my dreams.

They are unmoving.

I am a slave to these walls.

I have built them, slow and steady, brick by brick.

I have detached myself from the present to focus on these walls; my protection in the future.

I tell myself they will surround me when I need them most.

They will protect me from hurt.

They will block pain & suffering.

They are my most treasured project, these walls.

I have been faithful to them and they have been faithful to me.

I have put more time into these walls than most other things.

I think of them every day.

They: my expectations and my doubts, unwavering.

But as the years press on, my walls have aged.

Cracks are now visible.

Rationalization seeps through, slowly.

Pain now enters.

My expectations are being invaded.

My doubts are being challenged.

This was not supposed to happen.

I built these walls; they are supposed to be my most trusted companion.

But now they are failing me.

The light is visible from within.

It hurts my heart.

The ache is almost unbearable.

I can no longer stay within the confines I have built for myself.

I must be free.

I need to be free.

They begin to crumble, layer by layer.

So I climb with every ounce of strength I have and find my way to the other side.

Hope begins to form in front of me.

I ask forgiveness of myself.
I ask forgiveness from the heap of stone behind me.

I have now found peace.

Image via Pinterest

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